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Astrology can teach us much about our relationships with others if we spend some time getting to know the symbolic language on a more intimate level. Usually when people speak of astrological compatibility they are speaking of their sun signs only. What you will often hear is "I'm a Leo and I usually don't get along with Scorpios" or "I'm a Virgo and Pisces people really drive me crazy." What's missing here, of course, is an understanding of what it is about other people that really challenges us on a deeper level To
get a clearer understanding of astrological compatibility it's
necessary to delve into two facets of astrology: the elements and the
aspects. The elements we
use in astrology are fire, water, air and earth.
Each astrological sign falls into one of these categories.
Aires, Leo and Sagittarius are the fire signs which are usually
associated with our ability to perceive on an intuitive level.
Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces are water signs which relate to the
emotional aspects of our being. Libra,
Aquarius and Gemini are
all air signs and correspond to the mental or intellectual plane.
And finally, Capricorn, Taurus and Virgo are the earth signs and
relate to the physical or sensate
qualities we possess. The
aspects are the interrelationships or dynamics that exist between the
elements. The aspects
determine the relative ease or "dis-ease" in which the
elements will operate. For
example, in Figure 1 I've laid out the elements in their natural
relationships. As you can see fire and air and water and earth oppose
each other (180 degrees apart). In addition each element is squared (in a 90 degree
relationship) with each of the other elements.
These two relationships, the opposition and square are the most
challenging of the aspects between the elements.
Does this mean then that if you happen to be an Aires (a fire
sign) that every earth, water and air sign you meet will be a challenge
to you in some way? Fortunately
not!! In
Figures 2, 3 and 4, I've laid out three diagrams of how the signs
aspect or interrelate with each other.
To interpret these examples all you do is find your birth sign
and compare that with the other signs on your particular diagram.
Using the Aires birth, for example, you would find that your
relationships with Cancers, Librans and Capricorns would be
challenging. The other
water, air and earth signs in the remaining diagrams would not be as
challenging and, in most cases, would be pretty smooth going. To
demonstrate how these principles operate in a relationship I'd like to
share with you the dynamics of a couple I worked with a few years ago.
She was a Scorpio with five of her ten planets in that sign and
he was a Taurus with the same amount of planets in Taurus.
As you can see from the diagram Taurus and Scorpio are opposite
each other and theirs was a classic example of the opposition
relationship. In this kind
of relationship, which is quite common, (remember the old adage,
opposites attract?) the couple often draws the opposite to them for the purpose
of healing and becoming whole. What
happens many times though, is that the couple ends up spending most of
their time making the other person's reality wrong! The
square relationship is also quite common and I call it the "growth
through confrontation" relationship.
The crux of this relationship is that each partner challenges
the other to keep growing often through confrontation and conflict!
In the square relationship it often seems that the couple
undermines and thwarts the best intentions of each other.
The positive side of this type of relationship is that it
provides a lot of energy and motivation to break out of old ways of
relating. The only problem is that it can be very painful for all of
those involved. Nevertheless,
for those that are really committed to growing both individually and as
a couple and who like a lot of fireworks in their relationship, the
square relationship can be quite dynamic and can produce a lot of
breakthroughs. The
conjunct relationship, or relationships that share the same sign, are
the most rare and probably the most challenging.
Since each partner is similar in many ways there is a compelling
pull to merge with the other and to blur the boundaries that give rise
to individuality. Objectivity tends to get thrown out the window and it becomes
very challenging for the couple to distinguish where they stand in
relation to each other. The
reward of this balancing act is a relationship that reflects a
singleness of purpose, and an intensity that provides motivation for
accomplishing a lot together. Interestingly
enough the "easier" relationships, the trine relationship
(both partners in the same element) and the sextile relationship (fire
with any air outside one's own diagram, or water with any earth element
outside one's own diagram) are not as common as the more challenging
relationships we've been discussing.
Maybe this accounts for the high divorce rate that exists in
this country! Perhaps we
choose the challenging relationships to move beyond what our familiar
patterns of relationship have been.
Since one of the gifts of being in relationship is the
opportunity to grow both individually and in relation to others maybe
we need that extra challenge to really motivate us to change and grow.
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